i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Holy sore nipples Batman
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
