Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
