I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
