I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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