no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
