He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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