Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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