My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
