If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
