i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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