Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
