Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
This house was built for laser tag.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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