Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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