Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize