It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
