There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
