Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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