i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Be still, my beating vagina.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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