WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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