i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
