i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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