How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I party with great urgency now.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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