so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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