ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
