Can i not drive my cunt home
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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