He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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