a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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