that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
