Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Can't talk, ducks in the car
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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