You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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