Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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