Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
