I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
