Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
