Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
