Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
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He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
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We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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