Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
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Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
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you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
how drunk are you?
Several
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize