he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
