he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
