I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
