So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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