that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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