Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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