Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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