it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
