..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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