Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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