ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
