i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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