I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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