i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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