I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
