69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
