The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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