Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
