Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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