I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
