I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
MIDGETS
????
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
