yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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