The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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