I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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