I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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