You work out of a Hotel?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
